Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I think too much. Some people would say that it's a good thing and in most cases, I agree. My thinking is preventing me from being present. I find myself over planning as a way of procrastinating. I have to figure everything out before I do something, when if I just do it, things will be fine. I like to plan, to set goals, to make sure I will be able to succeed. I have been told many times throughout my life, "think before you speak, think before you act". I am taking this saying to a whole new level! One of the annoyances of my over planning is when something does not go as planned, I tend to overreact or...well, I have trouble improvising and this is when I find myself putting in little effort, giving up, or quitting. I believe I have just discovered another one of my defense mechanisms. I have my goals for today, just as I did yesterday but right now I am not present...I am thinking about the sequence of things to come. I'm planning out how long my workout is going to be and whether or not I will have time to make a specific something for dinner. Will I have enough time to stop by the market and is that going to put me behind schedule for getting to bed on time? Oh my gosh, what if I get a Netflix movie tonight? Is there going to be enough time to watch that? If it doesn't get in the mail tomorrow, I won't get one for Saturday night.
Now that I've written down my sequence of thoughts, I'm feeling pretty neurotic. It's not that I stress about these little questions, but my mind is so busy with this stuff. That's what it is. stuff.

Today's Focus: Find a balance between achieving goals and enjoying the moment.

1 comment:

  1. I get ya Burnsie, tend to do the samething myself. Letting go and going with "whatever happens" is challenging. I too spent a lot of time reflecting on why the hell I do that. I found, for me, it was an issue of control. That I felt like I needed to control everything during the day to see positive outcomes. But what I started to see was that things were going to turn out how they were supposed to regardless of me trying to control the outcome. So all that was accomplished was me spinning my own wheels and frustrating myself to no end.
    I heard a saying once that "control is an illusion" and its true! When I started to accept that and then let go of it...I ended up enjoying myself more and appreciating everything and everyone around me. Just my rantings...perhaps they might help.